This is the first time I’ll write about you… The first time I’ll ever admit to myself how lucky I am that you stayed.
Hindi naman ako malungkot. Di rin naman masaya. Yung sakto lang. As in yung saktong sakto lang. Di ko alam kung wala ba akong maramdaman o pinili kong walang maramdaman..
Minsan naiisip ko kung kaya lang ba ako nagho-hold on sa isang bagay kasi takot ako mapagisa.. Takot akong maiwan. Takot akong tahakin yung bukas na ako lang. Nakakatawang isipin na ang yabang kong magsabi na I’m a strong independent woman pero ang totoo nyan, part of me naka dependent sa ibang tao.
What if… subukan ko naman mapagisa? Yung mapapatunayan ko na kaya ko naman pala on my own? Pero what if…it is a bad choice to do?
I want to be better. Physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally… Lahat. I know I’m doing good pero pakiramdam ko parang may kulang. Hindi ko kasi maramdaman yung self satisfaction na tinatawag.
And I don’t even know where to start. Siguro I have to let go the things that keeps me from growing up?
It’s been a while, wordpress!!! The reason why it took me a while to write something is because…. I simply can’t possibly open my account due to circumstances that I changed my number and since I activated a two-authentication. But a human with a fighting heart won’t give up that easily so whenever I got a chance to go home in province, I spare some time to find my old number just so I can open my gooddamn blog.
And my heart is happy because after months of searching, I finally did it!
I have a lot of stories to tell – of how stress at my work turns to be an enjoyment; of how I was about to give up on love; of how I want to take advancement in my career by taking a master’s degree; of how I deal of loneliness in this big city…
I have a lot of stories that I’ve been keeping for so long now and I want to form those into writings..
I was so tired for the past weeks because:
Man, I just got hired! I’m still at cloud nine for real guys, I can’t believe this!
I tried applying through jobstreet kahit na bachelor palang nakalagay dun since magta-take palang ako ng board, so anyway.. I received a lot of interview invitations from different companies at di ko rin talaga inexpect na mapapatawag ako.
Me: kuya sagutin mo nga to
Kuya atty: patingin ngaaa. *grabs paper* ayy survey lang pala.
Me: ayna waw sige nga isa ngang number jan
K: number 16, c yan. Sure akooooo! Kapag mali ako bigyan kitang kape pero kapag tama, ako bibigyan mo.
Ayun, nasolve ko rin ang sagot at D ang tama.
Me: mali ka naman, D naman sagot e’
Akala ko kinekeme ako ni kuya sa pakape nya pero kaninang pag akyat nya, bigla nyang inabot to hahahahaha thank you kuya atty!
*everyone’s starting to pack up their things since super late na ng gabi*
Me: ayy matutulog na kayong lahat? Meeh, sige..
Jm: samahan nalang kita hanggang matapos ka.. *then he started to play/read notes on his phone while lying down at the sofa*
Plus, for being my review buddy! Thank you so muuuuch! I’m praying that we’ll both pass the board exams. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
PS: we’re not on the same course, ECE siya.